Bad relationships

Why are nurses so bad at relationships? Statistically, nurses have one of the highest rates of divorce. It has been in the literature so many times, so pardon me waxing on about somethings we already know. We care. We care about people. We take care of people. Often, we don't take care of ourselves. We think we can fix people. Change people. If people would only follow our advice. LOL. Damnit, the world would be a better place. We are classic enablers. Way too forgiving.

Take the show Mercy. That girl is messed up in her relationships. Had an affair while married and serving in Iraq. Ignores the guy who she is married to and really loves. Drinks a bit too much. Wears her heart on her sleeve for her lover doc who has moved to town. But when she finally admits it to herself. . . he has moved on. Trainwreck!!!!!

Today was a classic example of why I am stupid in relationships. Going through divorce number two from a narcissist who treated me badly. Long story short, in Jan got an email from his ex-lover and cyber lover for over a year telling me to "keep my lying, cheating, ego-maniac man." But no, I forgave him. He was being sweet to me. Come to find out, the reason was. . . he had broken it off with her and I guess was feeling remorse. But I forgave him - yet again and like a fool took him back. However this time, there was just too much resentment. To much pain. I was a shrew to him. Because I felt he deserved it.

He finally got sick of it and packed his bags, telling me he was never coming back. "Good riddance," I said. The revolving door had closed. Or so I thought. The divorce will be final in a few weeks. Sorry, I digress. Fast forward to last night, he calls me. . . all sick. He sounded awful. He wanted the name of our doctor - like he couldn't remember? And bam - like a fool. . .I fell for it all. Dropped what I was doing. Got him some antibiotics, cold prep, lozenges, echinacea, Vitamin C. . . . to the tune of $80 and breakfast for the poor buggar. Go over to his new place. Help him sort out the meds. Feel sorry for him. Question for a split second wanting him back. And then. . . true to form. . . when I suggested he sit down, as he was looking weak . . he lays into me yelling at me not to tell him what to do. . . yadee yadee. . . yadee.

Can you say fool? I should have it tattooed on my forehead. I could write a book. What not to do in relationships as told by the fool who did them. I was ticked. Not at him, at myself. Bad, bad decision. Do not help narcissists who suck you dry. Lesson learned for the day. He is a bad man. Okay, I am now done.