Love and Loss

In nursing, due to the nature of our work, you think we would be experts at love and loss. I have read many of the self help books. Studied the content in nursing courses. Taught my students how to reach out and look beyond the surface to understand their patient's locus of control. Bah humbug! How is it then that nurses, especially trauma, ER, and ICU have some of the highest divorce rates in the country! We are relationship disaster areas. Able to counsel others on the ins and out of emotional trauma, but sometimes train wrecks with our own.

Now, I am not stereotyping all nurses. Just eating lots of crow lately. I was my own enabler for a very narcissistic man. I never knew I would end up divorced and certainly not twice. I am hearing Tammy Wynette's song in a loop in my head D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Good golly, why can't I follow my own advice? Oft times I have felt like a shit magnet. In the past that is what my colleagues used to tease me about.

But I have learned from the school of hard knocks some valuable life lessons:
1. Take care of yourself. Make sure your personal bank account emotionally gets deposits, not just withdrawals.
2. Take time for yourself. Eat better. Move about.
3. Hold tight to your values and don't let them be bulldozed.
4. Pay attention to red flags. They always pan out.
5. Don't be a cynic, there are a few good men out there.
6. Cut your losses.
7. Process it, grieve it, and guhrrrlllll. . . .let it GO!

So, now on the upswing. As such I am a humbled person. But proud that I can be like Mary Tyler Moore on the show and truly make it on my own!